Perfectly Quotable June 2010

I like all kinds of meat, even bologna. What's interesting about bologna is that it's not just a meat, but it's an insult: That's a bunch of boloney. You're full of baloney. It kind of implies that bologna makes you lie. I eat bologna all of the time… or maybe I don't. Maybe that's just the bologna talking. Have you seen the bologna with olives in it? Who is that for? Have you ever heard anybody say, “I like my bologna like my martini, with an olive in it!” or “I'll have my bologna dirty!”
— comic Jim Gaffigan